false start?

My journey has begun, and now i’m in my brother’s rather plush apartment in central Amsterdam. The reality of matters is that this is far from beginnning my journey, as Amsterdam is a place i’m quite familiar with: Adrian has lived here since 2008, and i’ve been here loads of times. If anything, coming here is like putting off the actual leaving part by just moving somewere i know.

My little bro isn’t the only reason i’m here, for there is someone else in my life who also lives in Amsterdam. Lisette has her own place west of the city and i hope to spend as much precious time with her before i go to Tanzania over the next three two and a half (eek) weeks. Life throws these swingballs at you from time to time and this situation isn’t great, far from it, i would stay here forever if it were not for this next chapter of my life which i have to fulfil. In the short term we aren’t what we should be, and it is affecting every part of my daily life here, i’m deeply saddened, but coming to realise that this is the rest of my life.  She understands this much better than i do; i could learn a lot from her attitude towards all of it. Some things find a way, some things lay dormant whilst others replace them, and some people never get untangled from inside you after finding their way in over the time you spend together. For now it just hurts.

So this jump across the pond has pushed me on a little way, but the long journey is yet to come. A little false start perhaps, but for now i’m off work, living in one of the most exclusive areas of the city, and have all the time i need to relax and prepare for the new year.

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About graigchq

IT professional come travelling hobo.... i'm of to the new world to find out who i am, and leave all that i hate behind, including my negativity!!
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